The Selfless And The Lost
by xWinter-Wolfx
Summary: "Just because things were different, it didn't mean I had to be. I wasn't gonna let anyone get hurt. Even if that meant I'm gonna get hurt in the process. I'll be the one to take care of everyone. It's my burden to hold." "This new power. The new strengths i've gained. I don't know if I can handle them all. I don't know how to control it. Where am I headed?" "Where are we headed?"
1. How It All Started

I had just gotten home a few hours ago when my father decided to ruin my wonderful evening full of homework and studying this book Scott managed to steal  
out of Allison's house when I heard my front door slam, and heavy boots that I immediately recognized. "STILES." "What the hell are you doing?" My dad just  
so happened to scream at me again for at least the tenth time throughout today. It was getting old. "I'm STUDYING dad. Leave me alone already." I managed  
to yell all at once. "Don't you dare take that tone with me! When I get back you better have cleaned your goddamn room and my house better be  
spotless and I don't want Scott here. You understand!" My father all but growled at me. I managed to yell an alright before I heard the front door being  
slammed angrily, and the cruiser drive away. Now don't get me wrong my father's a naturally nice guy but since all these strange cases started piling in on him  
he seemed alot more stressed. Which is understandable considering my dad is the sherriff and he almost always works the graveyard shift. "Hey. Is he gone?"  
"Yeah Scott, he's gone." "Whew. I'm glad I didn't have to hide hanging from your windowsill the entire night. I would've gotten tired." "Shut up Scott." "Well? I  
would've." He laughed. "I don't understand how you can just stand there like an idiot and just laugh." I snapped at him. "Woah dude. Calm down. What's  
wrong with you?" "Oh, so just because I'm yelling at you for the first time there must be something wrong with ME huh? Don't act like you didn't hear any of  
that Scott!." I yelled. "Stiles I didn't think it was any of my business to listen." He said sheepishly. I couldn't believe this. "Any of your business?" I snapped. "Stiles I don't know what's going on. You were fine earlier today. I don't know what's gotten into you." He gave me a worried face. "You don't know Scott? You truly don't know?" I asked incredulously. "Stiles. I really don't know." He said passively. "Well let me tell you. I'm tired of this. Scott. So tired." I pointed to myself, and then back to him. "I'm tired of you always using me whenever you need me and completely forgetting about me the second you no longer need me. What about me Scott? What about me? Your never here when I need you. Never! Your always out trying to eat Allison's face off or you have your head completely shoved up Allison's ass that you can't even send a simple text! You never have time for me anymore. I'm your BEST FRIEND Scott did you forget about me already!?" "Stiles I never-" "Never WHAT Scott? Never what? Have you decided that I wasn't important enough for you to care about anymore? Have you just now decided to try and see if I'M okay?" I stopped for a breath and looked around for a moment. Then I turned back to him eyes narrowed. "Well no you DIDN'T think that's your problem Scott. You never THINK. You didn't think when I was about to drown holding up a six foot two hundred forty seven pound ALPHA werewolf who's CONSTANTLY causing me bodily harm and never seems to stop trying to kill me. Or when Jackson paralyzed me and I was FORCED to watch a man get crushed to death in the mechanic shop? And Derek almost killing me in the school. Not to mention his uncle tried to make me apart of his pack before mauling Lydia half to death. I'm done with it Scott. DONE!" I sobbed out in between shuddering breaths. "Stiles I... I'm sorry..." He tried to grab me but I pushed him away. "I don't wanna hear it Scott. Just go back to Allison. You don't need me anymore." I said softly. "Stiles please?" He was trying but I wasn't having it. "NO Scott. I've been taking your shit this whole time and i'm done being the sacrificial messenger for you. Just get out Scott." "Stiles please. Talk to me." He pleaded. "I just did Scott. Go." "Please Stiles I-" I interrupted him."GO!" I roared. "I love you Stiles, And I'm so sorry." "Just go Scott." And with that he jumped out my window holding onto the windowsill, hesitating a moment before finally falling. He choked a quiet I love you before running off into the night. "Your a liar Scott. You never did. No one does." I whispered. I was tired of being lied to. I was just so tired. So I just let my body fall into my bed and I cried to myself the whole night. I finally managed to stop crying, I picked myself up, and out my mask into place, and silently let the tears fall. I looked outside my window, and I heard a howl. I felt another tear fall. And I looked away. Chest constricted. "It's my burden. I'm sorry." I murmured.


	2. What We Used To Be

I awoke to the sound of someone knocking on my front door so I managed to get up out of bed only to hit my foot on the edge of my bed on the way there. "Ouch, Damnit!" Again another knock. "Hold ON!" Knocking once more. "I'm COMING." I finally manage to answer the door just to see Allison of all people on my doorstep face red and eyes puffy with fists clenched tight. "What did you do to him Stiles!? He's a fucking WRECK." "You mean Scott...?" "No you idiot the Queen of England. YES SCOTT." She huffed out in a hurry. "Now TELL ME. What did you do to him? He won't talk to me he just sits there crying and just repeats your name over and over again saying he's sorry and-" "Listen all I did was tell him to leave me alone get out and then to go try and eat your face off some more because I knew he didn't need me anymore. I'd probably be better off with Derek. At least HE pays attention." "Stiles your a selfish bastard he's your best friend and he's done SO much for you and this is how you treat him? Your pathetic Stiles." "What exactly has he done for me except cause me problems? and no i'm not like you, see I never used his heart to get to Derek like you did. I never used his affections to make myelf feel better. I NEVER USED HIM TO GET THE THINGS I WANTED OUT OF LIFE BECAUSE HE WAS ALREADY FUCKING THERE." I screamed at the girl in front of me."Stiles your gonna regret this." "I already do. Now get the FUCK off of my goddamn porch BEFORE I kick your ass off it Argent." I slammed the door in her face before she could say anything else. I can't believe she had the mind to come to MY house and say the shit she did. She had NO right .I thought to myself as I went back up to my room when I heard a deep voice speak. "Calm down Stiles. You practically reek of anger." "JESUS DEREK CAN'T YOU EVER USE THE GODDAMN FRONT DOOR!?" I yelled at the Alpha wolf. "Maybe? But it seems you were busy with the Argent so I came in through the window." He sniffed in obvious disdain. "You could've waited!" "I could've... but I didn't, and you should really get your window a lock.." "Look, Derek what do you want?" I huffed. "Nothing really I just wanted to ask you something about McCall concerning the Argents, but it seems that your not in the mood to deal with any of that right now so I'm gonna leave Erica to watch you while I go and ask McCall myself." Erica? Tch. I don't need anyone to watch me. "And WHY do I need one of your pups watching me?" I grumbled. "Because. I don't want you doing something stupid." He said. "I won't now will you just leave me alone?" I sighed. "Alright fine, but Erica's still gonna watch you. She'll be here later." He seemed to hesitate for a moment before he leaped out my window. "Bye SourWolf." I said quietly. That's when I heard my dad come home. "STILES!" Oh shit. I forgot to clean the house. "WHY ISN'T THE DAMN HOUSE CLEAN YET I TOLD YOU TO DO IT HOURS AGO!" He screamed yet slurred. I hope he hasn't been drinking again. "I fell asleep dad i'm sorry I was-" Pain shot across my left cheek and I instantly fell to the floor. He hit me. He's never hit me. "You stupid BASTARD." My father screamed at me."This is all YOUR fault. If you hadn't been such a whiny little brat she'd still be here!" He sobbed. You KILLED your mother you piece of shit." He hit me a few more times yelling obscenities at me when he kicked me in my midsection, and I lost the air I had in my lungs and I saw black spots dancing around in my eyes. He grabbed me and threw me against the ground yelling at me. I just layed there holding back the tears that were beginning to fill in my eyes and waited until he was done screaming to get up and walk to my room and lock my door. I dropped on my bed and layed on my left cheek. I could feel the blood pulsing behind it. It ached as I could already feel the bruise beginning to form. I waited 'til my father slammed his door and fell asleep to actually start crying. I felt an incredible pain in my chest as the memory replayed in my head. I cried, screaming into the comforter of my bed. I got up and slowly walked to my bathroom and after some searching I found my old razor blade that I'd always kept hidden in my medicine cabinet. "Hello again old friend. It's been awhile." I mumbled. I slowly dragged the razorblade across my wrist and I watched the blood slowly drip out of me in a stream of red like a crimson river flowing out of my body. I sat back and watched as I slowly began another another stream of crimson resting there for awhile until I heard someone call for me. "Stiles?" Where are you? I need to talk to you." Oh crap Derek! Damnit. I forgot he was coming back. I got up and wiped my wrist down with a towel that I hid underneath some other clothes in my hamper. "I'm coming." I shouted from my bathroom. I was just about to bandage my arms when he walked in so I quickly turned around and threw on a long sleeved shirt I found in my mess of a room. "Stiles what are you-" He stopped abruptly and then continued with. "What the hell were you doing in here? It smells like blood." "Nothing I was just-" "Stiles don't tell me..." He grabbed my unbandged wrist and he pulled my sleeve up before I could react. "Stiles... did you do this? Why in the HELL are you doing this to yourself?" "I didn't mean to it's just I couldn't... I couldn't take it... Scott and Allison and-and-" I started to gasp for air as I began to cry. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my bed where he looked at my arm for awhile while he waited for me to stop crying and calm down a bit before finally telling me. "Let me at least bandage your wrist your still bleeding." He said quietly. "Okay." I managed to sniffle. So I sat there on my bed and watched as he went back into my bathroom and grabbed my bandages and wrapped them around my wrist after massaging some kind of lotion that soothed the burn of my open skin. "Now tell me. What caused you to do this? He asked. "Well it all started with Scott and him ignoring me and constantly avoiding me and ditching me for Allison because you know he's always with Allison who showed up at my door this morning and yelled at me about how I was pathetic and how I needed to apologize and-" "Stiles!" He sighed. I mean before that." "What are you talking about?" I shakily answered him. "I mean before Scott and all this mess started." He replied. I couldn't find my words and for once. I had nothing to say. I don't know why he cared so much. Maybe it was because he could relate to the situation. I didn't know if I could trust him so I just talked. I explained to him how my mom had died when I was just nine years old in a car crash coming back from Scott's house and my ADHD problem with having to take Aderrall and how I used to have panic attacks when I was smaller due to anything that I saw that reminded me of mom and how my relationship with my father was taking a massive downward spiral. I talked for hours and he just sat there hugging me each time it got too much too bear. The memories were too much and I guess at some point I passed out from exhaustion from crying so much. Because when I woke up the next morning. Derek was gone and all that I saw was his jacket laying over my computer desk chair. I guess he slept downstairs. "Derek?" I said quietly. "Are you here?" "I'm downstairs Stiles." He yelled out. I went downstairs and I saw Erica, Boyd, and Isaac laying around in my living room which I thought was odd because I only remember Derek here last night. "Derek? What are they doing here?" I asked. "Well they're my pack so they follow me pretty much wherever I go." "I understand that, but why are they HERE." Erica decided to open her big ass mouth at that moment and speak. "We're here because Derek didn't want your suicidal ass to go off the deep end on us." "ERICA!" Derek growled at her harshly eyes glowing red. She seemed to wince when he looked in her direction. Good. "Look Derek. I think you should just go." "Please...? You can come back but I need to be alone?" Boyd decided to speak which was something rare so I shut my mouth and listened. "No offence Stiles but I really don't think that's a good idea." "And why not?" "Well because you might try and hurt yourself." I didn't really know alot about Boyd but he seemed like a nice enough guy and at the moment he seemed genuine in his concerns. "Boyd." "Sorry Alpha." So they all knew? "Derek I need to be alone right now. Please can you please give me at least an hour to myself at least? One hour?" I sighed. "Fine, But just one!" And with that the Sourwolf and his pack of pups left. I never understood Derek. Come to think of it I don't think anyone ever really did. I guess which is why he came last night. I don't understand that man. Derek Hale. He hated me ever since I met him. Yet why was here?

I decided I would try and get some cleaning done in the hour Derek had allowed me to myself before my father got back to avoid another angry drunken rant. When I was done I went back upstairs and I looked in the mirror and saw my left cheek for the first time since what happened. It was a light shade of purple and had a black-ish blue hue in the middle of it. I continued looking over my face and saw that my lower lip had a smalll cut on it and my sides hurt whenever I moved so I pulled off my shirt and checked my ribs. They were a deep maroon-ish color and it was a very deep purple in the center and very tender around the edges where my father had kicked me. Tears began to swell up in my eyes as I realized just how horrific my life was. I decided to take a shower to help me relax. I stripped off the rest of my clothes and turned on the shower waiting for the water to change to the right temperature. When I finally stepped in and felt the water it felt amazing I just stood there leaning my forehead against the tiled wall of my shower. I don't know how long I stood there waiting and feeling my body's muscles to tense up and relax one by one and after awhile I grabbed my favorite shampoo that smelled like lavender and ran it through my short buzzcut hair. I always used it because it was Mom's favorite flower she always smelled like them even if she was surrounded by so many other scents. She was so beautiful, kind, and happy. She would give up the clothes on her back to make sure someone else had everything they needed and she always served herself last. She was self-less and she did everything she could to make me happy. I loved her. She was my everything and I miss her. My eyes grew watery again and I shut off the water and got out and dried myself off and I got dressed in my normal attire of a pair of black boxers, a plaid long sleeve with a T-shirt under it a pair of dark denim blue jeans, and a pair of converse and after I was done I decided to make something to eat for my father who would come home and expect some food. I decided to make macaroni and cheese cassarole one of my favorite thing to eat. "Smells good." Derek said walking into the kitchen. "OH MY GOD." I yelled. "Can't you ever use the front door?" I could but it seems alot more fun this way. "I never knew you could cook." He said a little suprised. "Well it's something I picked from my mom she could always make such great food. I always wanted to be able to cook like her so I learned from her cook book that she had showed me a few weeks before she..." I choked on my own words I tried clearing my throat a few times but I couldn't hold back a few tears that managed to sneak past my eyes. My mom was always a soft spot for me. "Stiles. Where's the book?" He asked me. "Uhm it's in this cabinet right here." I said clearing my throat a few times. "May I see it?" He asked. "Uhm sure." I said handing him my mother's cookbook. He took the book from me and told me to sit. "What are you doing?" I asked him. "Sit. Quiet. Now." He quickly snapped at me. "Okay! Okay!" I watched as he looked at the book for a few minutes reading to himself before he started to grab ingredients out of my fridge and I watched in amazement as he started to cook my mother's recipe with ease. His eyebrow would furrow everytime he would drop something or his tounge would stick out everytime he would mix or pour something. "Derek are you almost done?' I aked. "Well according to the book I should be after I put this in the oven." He simply replied. "It smells good." I added. "Thank you." It was quiet as we waited for the food to be ready. "Where's the rest of the pack?" I asked him. "They're out and about. I gave them the day to themselves." That was generous. "Really? That's nice of you." I asked him questions about the pack and I found out that Erica turned becuase she was an Epileptic. She used to have seizure attacks and had to take anticonvulsants before she took the bite. Isaac took the bite because he didn't want to feel weak because he was abused by his father... Something i could relate to. Boyd took the bite because was an extreme asthmatic and couldn't do anything without having an asthma attack. They all took the bite because they felt weak and alone I asked Derek if he ever regretted biting them but he simply looked at me and for awhile I couldn't stop looking at the person in front of me. The six foot two hundred pound giant werewolf that was Derek Hale. "There something in particular your staring at? Or is this a common occurence for you?" He asked suddenly. "Wha... what? No no there wasn't I was just day dreaming you know the whole blank staring thing yeah it was unintentional I didn't mean it. I hope you don't chew my face off are you gonna kill me? Oh god you probably are please just make it quick unless no now your just glaring at me should I shut up now? Yeah I should. Ok. Shutting up now." I rambled. "Stiles you don't have to be nervous. I'm not going to hurt you." He told me. Something told me that I shouldn't trust him but I was never good at making choices. "I trust you Derek." I said walking over to him. "Do you trust me?" "Yes Stiles. With everything." "I'm glad to know you trust me. It makes this easier for me." I told him. "Well compared to Scott you seem alot more trustable than he does, And that says alot." He said. "I know. Thank you. Derek. For everything it makes me feel better to know your here for me when no one else is." "No problem it's what pack does for each other." He stated. Wait I was pack? But I wasn't even a wolf! How could I be pack? It didn't make sense. "Derek? How am I part of your pack?" I asked. "Stiles you just are. There's no rule saying you have to be a wolf to be in a pack. I consider you a part of my pack and what an Alpha says goes." "You don't have to be alone anymore Stiles." He said quietly. My throat started to swell. "Who said I was alone Derek?" I yelled. "I never said I was alone you just made me out to be alone. I don't know what your thing is with me just leave me alone Derek." I snapped at him. "Stiles. Stop." He ordered. "No Derek you and your pack and Scott have been pushing me around for a very long time and i'm not gonna put up with it anymore. I don't understand how stupid I could be to think for one second you actually cared about me. All you care about is being an Alpha and making your pack bigger. Well. I'm not gonna be a part of it. So leave me alone Derek!" I screamed. "Stiles I-" I interrupted him. "NO Derek just go!" "Okay Stiles i'll go, but if you ever need me all you need to do is call." He said as he walked to my window. I just looked at the floor. "Goodbye Stiles." And with that the only person I probably could have ever trusted just jumped out my window and into the night. Just like that Derek Hale was gone. 


	3. Memories

I didn't mean to burst out like that. I wasn't alone. I had alot friends. I mean I had Sco- I stopped midsentence as I realized I am alone. I pushed away the only person I could ever really trust. It's all my fault that he jumped out of my window, and out of my life last night. I wanted to go and apologize, but I didn't know how. i've been stuck here in my house for a few days. Not even bothering with school. Maybe it was time I went to go look for a job or something. Maybe some new friends. I decided today was the day, and I got up took a shower. Used some make-up to cover over my left cheek, and after I thought I was presentable... Enough. I got up and walked down the stairs of my house, and locked the door. My dad was working late again, so I hopped in my jeep, and started her up. I loved my jeep. It was the one thing that couldn't hurt me. "Where to find a job in Beacon Hills?" I thought about volunteering, but then I remembered that volunteering doesn't pay. I passed by my favorite diner, and I decided. "Why not?" I parked my jeep, and hopped out. I walked up to the door, and went inside. "Hi Stiles. Haven't seen you in awhile." The clerk lady who's name seemed to slip my mind at the moment. "You here for the usual?" She asked grabbing out her notepad. "No i'm actually here to apply for a job." I said. "Oh. Is that so." She laughed. My cheeks grew hot, and I looked down. Here's the application form, and just sign here when your done." She said pointing at the bottom of the paper she grabbed out from under the counter. "Thanks...-" "Emily." "Emily right! I knew that." I laughed. "Haha well you better get to signing there sir." She said pointing at my application, and laughing at me. "Yes ma'am right away." I said while walking to nearby booth, and taking a seat. I looked over the application, and I saw alot of things that required miniscule effort. It must be easy to work at a diner. I can wash dishes. I can cook. I can serve tables. Simple enough. I filled out the paper, and got up to hand it over to Emily who smiled at me as I walked up to the counter. "All done?" She asked. "Yup. All done." I smiled walking out after I dropped my application on the counter. "I'll let you know if you got the job on monday Stiles." She yelled after me. "Thanks Emily!" I yelled back waving as I did so. "I hope I get this job, especially with school ending, and there only a slim chance I was gonna get a scholarship with my grades. I had a 3.0 average. Ever since Scott turned into a werewolf his problems became mine, and my grades suffered for it. I should've just focused. I sighed as I realized I was going to graduate, and be stuck here. I always wanted to leave Beacon Hills, but I've never been able to decide what I wanted to do. Maybe going to New York for film studies. I heard Juliard School For The Arts had a film program, but I couldn't afford even if I tried. I've made so many bad decisions. With Scott. With Derek. My Dad. I was never good at making decisions. I guess the only way I was ever going to know was if I tried. I walked out of the Diner, and climbed into my jeep. I pulled it into reverse, and drove down the familiar road to my house. As I drove, I remembered what Derek said, and I wondered if I should call Derek to apologize, but I still feel too guilty to call. Maybe with time i'd be able to call. Or even stop by, and that's if Derek still lives in his house. Come to think of it. I never really thought about where he went whenever he wasn't with us. I made a mental note to ask next time I saw him. I spotted my house, and I pulled up into the drive way put jeep in park, and sat there for a minute or so. I pulled out my phone, and looked through all the messages I had. I eventually stopped, locked my phone, turned off my car, and walked into my house. My dad's cruiser wasn't in the driveway, so he was probably still at work. I climbed out of my jeep, and my phone began to ring, and when I looked at it I saw the name. Derek Hale. I stood there with awe my mouth hanging open like an idiot. I didn't answer it, and he eventually hung up. A few seconds later a voicemail popped up, and it was from Derek. Derek Hale just called me, and I didn't answer. I shook my head, and I walked into my house hopped up the stairs, and threw my stuff on my dresser. I took my jacket off, and threw it on my bed. I plopped myself on my bed, and took my phone out to listen to the voicemail. I waited as my phone brought up the message. "New Message from Derek Hale. Recieved today at four twenty one p.m." "Stiles. I know you probably don't want to talk to me, and all but. I feel bad about what happened. If you could just call me back, and Let me know how your doing. That'd ease my mind i'm really- Well. I'm worried Stiles. Call me if you can." "End of new message. Press one to save. Press two to delete." I pressed one, and laid my head back on my pillow. I decided to listen to some music, and try to take a nap. Probably the least stressful thing i've done in my whole entire life. I played my current favorite song, and closed my eyes as I tried to sleep. If I ever could. _  
I couldn't believe it."He didn't answer." I said dumbfounded. I sighed inwardly. I just kept pacing around what was left of my family's living room. "Derek." Erica groaned. "What are we doing here? It smells like ash, and dirt. Can we go already?" She asked impatiently. "Shut up Erica." I growled as I looked at my phone again to check it again. I couldn't believe he didn't answer me. It was surreal. He always picked up Evem when he hated me at one point. I had been watching Stiles for a while after he snapped on me. I know he didn't want me around, but I couldn't just leave him like that. I didn't know what else to do, so I eventually called only to get rejected. "Derek. I don't think he's gonna call back. He still might be pissed." Erica said. "I know that, but I had to be sure alright." I said. I don't know what to do about that boy. Nor what to do about what I've seen his father do to him. I just wanted to help him, but I guess I must have gone about it the wrong way. I wasn't very good at this sort of thing. I groaned and slumped down to my couch well, what was left of it. "Derek. I think I hear something." Boyd said nervously. "Derek I seriously think we need to get out of here. I hear it too." Isaac whimpered. "Who do you think it is?" Erica asked worriedly. I knew exactly who it was. "Those goddamn Argents. Always getting in my way." I growled. "Erica I want you to get out of here immediately. Go to the house." I snapped. "Derek! I can handle myself. I don't need you to-" "ERICA! JUST GO!" I screamed. She looked at me. Eyes wavering. "I'll go." She muttered. "She hopped off the train car, and sprinted out the back way. "Boyd. I want you, and Isaac to go warn McCall about this. I need him to-" "What about you!" Isaac yelled. "Don't tell me your gonna stay here, and try to defend this place?" He said. "I want you two out of here NOW." "But-" "GO!" I roared. "Be careful Derek." Isaac warned. Boyd just nodded at me. He seemed comfortable enough to talk with the other two, but it seemed he wasn't entirely trustful of me. "Be careful. Don't get caught." I said calmly. I stood there waiting as I heard the footsteps, and heard four individual heartbeats. I knew there was only four so there was no need to look for any others. "Derek! We know your in there. Come on out!" Someone yelled. I recognized the voice as Chris Argent. Current leader of the Argents. "We need to talk." He said. I ran up to the roof, and leaned, and saw only the four. I heightened my senses with my wolf, and I didn't hear anything else besides the four people below me. "Well let's talk." I said to the hunters below. "We need to ask you about the sudden increase of omegas. We've noticed a large pack just north of the border. They are much larger than any pack we've ever seen." He said. "And? How would I know anything about that?" I asked. "We just assumed that you being an Alpha would keep in touch with the others. To make sure they stayed away from Hale territory." He said. He was pretty spot on about Hale territory, but I haven't spoken much less seen any other alphas. What he said about the large pack worries me. I only have five members in my pack. Either I created more pack members, or I train the ones I already had. It was worrying me. "I'll let you know if I see anything through Scott." I told them. "How do we know you won't hide things from us?" he asked. "That's the point." I said. "You won't." I jumped off the roof, and sprinted towards my current pack house. It was extremely worrying that I didn't know anything about the wolves in our vicinity. I was neglecting my duties as an Alpha. I really needed to focus more if I was gonna be able to protect my pack. All this Alpha power came from my pack, and I couldn't very well use it if my pack was lacking. They needed to learn the essential things of being a wolf. They knew the basics, but there's alot more to this life than the original five senses. I groaned as I realized just how much they had to learn. This was going to be a LONG day. I couldn't imagine just what I had to teach these hormonal teenagers. Who could barely keep their heads on straight without ripping each other's off. _  
I woke to the sound of a door being slammed. "Stiles!" Oh shit dad was home, I looked at my clock. It was barely seven. What was he doing ome so early? "Get down here right now!" I didn't want to go down there. Not after last time. I knew my father had been drinking, but I went against the little voice inside my head trying to protect me, and I went downstairs. "Why didn't you come when I called you the first time?" He yelled. I was asleep. I'm sorry Dad." I said quietly looking down at my hands. "You fucking LIAR!" He slapped me for what seemed the hundreth time. I stumbled back with tears in my eyes. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HIT ME? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU! I NEVER DO ANYTHING!" I screamed at him. "YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME YOU BASTARD! YOU KILLED HER." "She was everything to me." "It's all your fault!" I stopped, and I ran. I ran upstairs, and I slammed my door, and locked the deadbolt I put in just in case this ever happened. "Stiles. I hate you!" My father yelled at me. I screamed as I threw myself on my bed, and let myself go. The hurt, the guilt, the pain I felt. It was all just too much to bear. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I just couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I looked at my desk, and I saw a picture of us. All of us when I was just five years old. This picture was taken just months before the accident that took my mom away forever. It was always my favorite picture of the family. Everyday I can just see her smile, and the way she would hug me whenever I did something she felt was important. God I missed her. She was the glue that held our family together. And now that she's gone. It'll never be the same. I can see the crash with my own eyes. Sometimes i'll have dreams about the accident, and I'll wake up sweating with tears running down my eyes. She was the single most important person in the world to me, and she's gone. And it's all my fault. It's my fault she's gone. *Stiles. Do you want some ice cream? We can stop, and get some on the way to Scott's if you'd like." "Yeah Mom! I want the one with the cookies in it. You know the black, and white one. I can get two scoops right mom?" I asked. "Sure honey whatever you want." She smiled. "Mom can we get some for Scott too? I know he likes vanilla! He told me so!" My mom laughed. "Sure we can get some for Scott too." We turned the corner on the way to the only Ice Cream place in Beacon Hills when it hit us. I didn't hear anything at first, but then I started to hear her."Stiles honey! Open your eyes for mommy please! Open your eyes!" My mom's frantic words woke me from the injuries my head sustained. "Mom what's going on?" I asked tears welling up inside my eyes. I was scared. The car was at an odd angle. I realized we were sideways. "Nothing honey. We're okay. Now I need you to stay calm, and stay awake with mommy okay? Can you be a strong man for your mom?" She asked. I sniffled. "Okay mom. I'll be strong." I shook my head, and I grabbed my mother's hand. I saw she had blood running down her side, and I saw she was bleeding from the left side of her head. "Mommy. Are you okay? Your bleeding!" I asked voice wavering. She was pale, and she was taking in short ragged breathes. "Stiles honey. Mommy's fine. Don't worry." She tried reassuring me by grabbing my arm. "But, mom your bleeding." "I promise baby. Mommy's okay." She said cheeks glistening with tears. "Stiles. I want you to sing that song for mommy that you always do for me. Can you do that for me?" She asked. "Okay mommy i'll sing it for you. I love you." I said. "I love you too. You'll always be mommy's number one man." She said grabbing my hand tighter, as tears fell down her cheeks. I started to sing the lullaby my mom taught to me when I was old enough to learn it. It was the only thing that could put me to sleep when I was younger. "Over the moon. Under the sun. Me, and you were once one. Your my angel, my light, the love of my life. Together always under the moon's sight. Forever, and ever your hand in mine. Know that you'll always be. A child so sweet, and kind. Side by side forever. Dear child of mine." "She gripped my hand and squeezed my hand real tight. "Stiles. No matter what happens. Just know that mommy will always love you. I'll always love you." Her grip started to loosen, and that's when I heard the sirens. "Mommy?" I asked. She didn't answer. Her eyes drifted close. "Mommy!? Mommy wake up!" I screamed. A police officer came, and picked me up out of the car. "NO! MY MOM'S IN THERE! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP MY MOMMY!" I screamed. "Please!" I yelled. The officer holding onto me said. "I'm sorry son. There's nothing we can do." "No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" "She's just tired cuz she got hurt! Please! She'll be okay! She said she would! She promised!" I yelled at him. I tried to run for her, but my dad came, and grabbed me. "Come on son." He picked me up, and walked me further away from my mom. "Please! NO! Mom!" "MOMMY!" I screamed. My father gripped me tighter as he choked out a gasp as he stood there listening to my cries of desperation. Cries that she would never be able to hear.*

I awoke with a start that next morning headache pounding from the crying last night. I groaned, as I got up out of bed, and I saw him. "Stiles. I-" He stopped when he saw my face. I definitely wasn't in the mood for it. "What are you doing here?" I asked straight faced. "I wanted to talk to you." He said. "Well, we're talking aren't we?" I said sarcastically. "Well yeah we are." He said. I looked at him convictingly. "Didn't I make it clear last time that I didn't want to see you?" "I'm really sorry Stiles. I really am. I didn't mean for it to come out like that." He paused and turned away. "Look it's not your fault. I'm the one who-" He suddenly grabbed me and furiously pushed his lips against mine. My mouth went slack from suprise. He turned away again and whispered. "I'm sorry." He hopped out the window leaving me filled with shock and even more irritation. When I saw him again. I was going to murder him. Or kiss him again. I wasn't too sure yet. 


	4. How It All Came Crumbling

Things weren't going the way I ever expected to. First my father decided that he'd had enough of me and kicked me out so now I was living on my own working at a diner where I was making just enough to pay for my apartment, and second. School finished a few weeks ago and college was out of the question because there was no way I could pay for it right now. I was thinking of going to Scott's and apologizing but I haven't heard from him since I told him to get out of my room a few months ago so I didn't wanna walk in on him and Allison having a disgusting make-out session. He'd probably lose it and freak out on me. Nevertheless I find myself going up to his house and I decided to stop mumbling outside the door and knock. "Why are you so stupid Stiles?" I hissed as I clenched my fist because it irritated the fresh scars on my left wrist, and while I was busy focusing on my arm I didn't notice that Scott had answered his door and when I looked up he was almost shocked to see me. "St- Stiles...? What are you doing here?" He choked out. "Oh well you know I was just in the neighborhood and I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing." I said. "Well i'm... Okay how about you?" He asked me. "Uhm well I gotta say not so good, but i'm managing." That's good. Uhm... Do you wanna... Come in?" He asked hesitantly. "Oh sure. Thanks." I mumbled. I walked inside and I instantly recognized the house i'd just walked into. The furniture was still the same and the house still had that homey feel I loved whenever I would stay here. "Scott. Can we sit down? I wanna talk to you." I asked. "Yeah we can sit on the couch." I took a seat on the couch and tried to figure out what the hell I was gonna say to him. Well here goes nothing. "Scott I want to apolo-" "No Stiles. I should be the one apologizing. I hurt you. I was a horrible friend and I never meant to do the things I did it's just the whole wolf thing was still new to me and having to worry about Allison's parents not trying to kill me. I just... got carried away. I never meant to forget about you. Stiles i'm so sorry." Scott said but he started to cry. So I put my arm around him and held him close. "Scott buddy don't cry. It's okay I forgive you and you forgave me so we're all good. I love you buddy." I said calmly. "I love you too Stiles." He sniffled. "So what now?" He asked. I honestly didn't know. I for maybe the second time in my life was at a loss for words. "Maybe we should just take it slow and get back to how we used to be?" He suggested. "Sure Scott. That sounds good. I'll let myself out." And with that I left knowing that I had a best friend again. I was about to get in my car when I realized I had left my keys inside Scott's house. Maybe on his couch. I had walked back up the driveway and, I was about to knock on the door when I heard someone yelling at Scott. "Scott you said you were done with him!" She yelled. I recognized Allison's voice. I shook my head. "I was but-" "But what Scott? I don't care if he is your best friend I don't want you to ever see him again I thought you loved ME not him!" She shrieked. "Babe, I promise i'll never talk to him again. I promise! Please forgive me? I couldn't live without you." He pleaded. "Okay. I forgive you." She replied smugly. My heart fell and my stomach dropped when I heard Scott say those words. My chest was pounding and my heart ached I couldn't believe it. He picked her over me. HER! He didn't try to fight for me or anything he just threw me to the trash like I was nothing. He tossed me aside like I was some toy that he got tired of playing with and Allison was the shiny new one. I realized at that moment that I WAS nothing. I wanted to die. I couldn't take it. I felt like I was going to explode. So I ran. I ran aimlessly in any direction that I thought would take the pain away. I ran to the forest and just kept running past anything I saw until I was surrounded by trees, grass, rocks, and nothing else, but as I kept running all I could feel was the growing ache my chest held. It constricted around my heart and just kept squeezing tighter and tighter until I couldn't breathe anymore. I just kept running until my body failed me and I crumpled to the ground. I let out the loudest cry I could have ever made. It hurt so bad it felt like I was being ripped in two. I tried to stop but, I just kept screaming, clawing at the ground cursing my existence and everything in it. It hurt so bad I kept screaming until my voice too failed me. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I tried to scream because of the pain, but I couldn't. It kept clawing at me, at my heart, and at my soul. It kept ripping through me like I was paper. It laughed at me and teased me. It tormented me like I had no purpose. I had no reason to exist. The darkness kept trying to take me under but I just kept screaming until finally. My mind faded away into the darkness and I welcomed it. As it engulfed me I finally felt the peace I longed for. And then. Nothing.

* * *

I was just running my usual perimeter when I heard an erratic heartbeat. I wondered what it was, but I just pegged it as some animal who was about to become prey so I ignored it. Until I heard a scream. One full of despair and pain. It felt so heartbroken and painful. It made me wince when I heard it. Then it got closer and I heard a small thud. I recognized the voice. I just couldn't place where it was. I closed my eyes and I listened closely and my wolf began to growl . I listened to the sounds around me and the screams started to fade so I followed them until they completely died off. That's when I saw him writhing and screaming as if he were on fire. "Stiles!" I screamed. I tried to grab him but thrashed around and he just kept screaming. "Stiles wake up! Please wake up!" And suddenly he just stopped. His body went slack and lifeless. His heartbeat began to falter. I panicked. "STILES! NO PLEASE HANG ON." His heartbeat began to pick up and he started to shake and whimper. I grabbed the boy and I ran all the way to my railcar in the warehouse. He began whimpering every so often. "Sc- Scott...W-Why...?" Scott? I was gonna have to talk to that bastard and find out what the hell happened to him. He began to claw at my jacket and yell. "LIAR... LIAR..." And he began to sob into me. It just made me all the more anxious to find out what happened to him. He just kept crying and when I looked at him and I saw fresh cuts in his arm. I was gonna tear Scott to pieces. My wolf began to growl harshly everytime Stiles would whimper or say Scott's name. Why was I reacting this way? My wolf rarely did anything besides grunt or growl every so often, and now that it saw that Stiles was in pain it made it bloodthirsty. "Isaac!" I yelled at my beta. "Derek? What's going o- OH MY GOD! What happened to him!?" He asked me while rushing to my side. "I don't know but, i'm about to go find out." I let go of Stiles and set him on my makeshift bed in the railcar. When he began to whimper. "Derek... please stay... I can't." He cut off with another whimper. I wasn't sure what to do so I sent Erica and Isaac to go and see McCall and ask him what the hell just happened. "Boyd!" "Yes Alpha?" "Go get me some water and a cloth and get the ice bath ready." I shouted. He was still crying. I wasn't very good with this kind of thing so I just settled with what my mother used to do whenever I was upset, I began to run my fingers through his hair and he began to calm down. Whenever I would stop he would just start whimpering again. So I just stayed there. I had no idea how long I stayed there until Boyd walked in. "Everything's ready." He stated quietly. "Thank you Boyd." I picked Stiles up and I took him to the ice bath and began to remove his clothing. I removed his shirt and I saw a flash of pink appear on his chest and cheeks. I moved to remove his pants and I left him in his underwear and gently set him inside the bath. "Stiles it's gonna get cold." He mumbled something I couldn't hear. I layed him in there and he began to shiver at first until his body got used to the temperature. Every so often I would cup some water in my hands and sprinkle it down his back or on his head. He finally looked calm and I for the first time saw Stiles body. He was very light complected with small defined stomach muscles and his arms had some build lacrosse was doing him some good, but when I looked closer I could see them. They were line upon line upon line of scars some were thin lines, others were thin, but noticible welts that rose in his skin. I looked away in shame, knowing no one was ever meant to see them. They were something I wasn't supposed to see. I knew they were something no one was ever meant to see. I stopped. I looked at them again and I recognized some of the scars as though they were stitches. My breath caught in my throat , I looked at his face wondering just how much emptiness and loneliness and abandonment this boy must feel. Something I could relate to. My own emotions began to surface as memories of the screams and the smoke came to mind. Tears began to well up inside and I quickly banished the thought of my family. Instead I let myself feel rage and, my blood began to boil. I envisioned Scott McCall and I swore to myself that I would rip him to pieces. "Derek. What's going on?" Scott McCall. He must have a death wish. "YOU. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?" I screamed. "Derek I didn't do anything I swear!" He pleaded."DON'T LIE TO ME GODDAMNIT!" I screamed once more. "Derek we just made up. He came to my house and we talked and when he left we were on good terms. I don't know what made him react this way. I didn't do anything." He stated matter-of-factly. "YOU LIAR." Stiles began to scream as he rose out of the ice bath. "YOUR A PIECE OF SHIT SCOTT MCCALL. I hate you!" Stiles stopped and collapsed back into the tub sobbing into his hands and screaming for Scott to go away. I ran up and grabbed him by his throat and pinned him against the wall. "NOW try telling me you didn't do anything. I should kill you!" "But I didn't-" I tossed him against the other wall as I began to shift . I growled and my wolf growled with me. I wanted to kill Scott McCall. But. He just sat there. "I don't know what I did for you to act like this, but go ahead." He said very quietly. I was about to take him up on that offer when Stiles spoke up. "You didn't even try to fight for me..." Stiles said suddenly. We turned to look at him. I was confused as to what he meant."You just picked her like I was nothing. You chose her over your best friend. How could you?" His lip started to quiver as tears started to roll down his cheeks. It made me all the more angry to kill the idiot. "Stiles what are you talking about?" He said. "Don't act stupid Scott! When Allison came down and started yelling at you for talking to me again." A look of shame, guilt and embarrassment came over his features. "She said pick one and you picked her immediately. I wasn't even considered. You threw me in the trash. Like I was nothing." Stiles said. "Stiles I-" I interrupted him. "YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH." I screamed at him. "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU HERE EVER AGAIN. GET OUT. "Derek please I-" "NOW." I screamed. Scott bowed his head and left quickly. I waited until I stopped shaking to turn to Stiles. "Stiles are you okay?" I asked. "I'm fine. I just need to sleep." He said."Alright let's get you up." I said while picking him up. "Derek. Thank you." He said passing out on my shoulder as I carried him. The gentle sway of my body must have rocked him to sleep.. "No worries Stiles." I whispered. I carried him to my makeshift bedroom and layed him down. I pulled the covers over him and I groaned when I realized that tonight I was going to sleep on the couch. _

* * *

I woke up dazed and alone in a place I didn't recognize. I looked around the room and I noticed just how many things there were that I didn't recognize. I sawthat I was laying on a mattress in a railcar and that there were many personal items like keys and a few pairs of clothing lying around. It smelled of wood, pine, and rust. The place still had a homey sense to it's atmosphere. It was calming and pleasant. I saw a pair of boots were placed next to each other by the door I took note of which of whom were probably Derek's. It crossed my mind I was at Derek's current hideout and I couldn't make any sense as to why I was here. I tried to sit up but my body refused to cooperate with me. I collapsed back onto the mattress. "Hello? Is anyone there?" I heard my voice and it sounded like someone had taken a piece of sandpaper and shoved it down my throat taking it to hell and back on the way down. "Hey!" I tried again, but no one replied so I layed there looking at the ceiling counting how many cracks there were in the top of the railcar. I got to twenty-four when I heard the door open and I looked over saw Isaac walk in with a cloth and a water bottle in hand. Since Isaac was here I was pretty sure I was at Derek's. "Stiles your awake! How are you feeling?" He asked me. He did seem genuinely concerned with my current condition so I held back the sarcastic remark about me being just peachy and said. "Not so good Isaac can I have some of that water?" Although it came out more as a strained whisper. "Sure. Here just take small sips." He warned me. "Thanks Isaac." I replied as he helped me take a few drinks. "No problem. So how are you feeling. Do you want to take some medicine? I have some pain pills here. You've been burning up for awhile since Derek found you out in the woods, so I would come and put this wet cloth on your forehead everyday." "Thanks..." I trailed off. So Derek was the one who brought me here, but why was I here. It didn't make sense until I remembered. Scott. I began to shake as the memories came back. I winced when I heard Allison's voice yelling in my memories. I gasped as the pain began to reconstrict in my chest again. One by one. My memories each took their time replaying in my head. Burning me, whipping me, and taunting me with their malicious existence. I began to hyperventilate as I realized I was having a panic attack. "Derek! Derek it's happening again!" Isaac yelled. "Don't move him! I'm coming!" Derek said running into the room. He grabbed my hand and tilted me up. Holding me up so I could breathe easier."Isaac go get the water ready!" "Yes Alpha." "Stiles. Stay with me now, just breathe. Come on. Don't worry the pack's here now no need to worry i'm here with you." He was soothing me? I couldn't believe it, but I did as I was told and after a long time of simply breathing and listening to Derek's heartbeat my own heart rate slowed down. "Stiles? Can you hear me?" He asked anxiously eyebrows furrowing together, and forehead creasing as he pursed his lips together in worry. "Derek. I'm okay now." I told him. he let out a sigh of relief but his features still showed signs of worry. "How long have I been here exactly?" I asked him. "For almost two weeks. Stiles we thought you were in a coma. All you would do was scream, thrash around, or cry. It was... unbearable." He said somberly looking away, and eyebrows furrowing once more. "Take it easy sourwolf. You'll get crows feet before your thirty." I managed to laugh out. He rolled his eyes at me. I looked at Derek and I noticed his eyes had large dark circles under them. Has he really been up taking care of me this whole time? "You should try and sleep more you big lug." I told him. "Sure Stiles i'll make sure to sleep early tonight." He half smiled. It was a rare thing for Derek to smile so I watched his face for as long as I could to ensure I kept the memory fresh and vivid next time I saw him with a scowl or grimace on his face. "Do you like to stare at me? Or do I have something on my face." He asked. "No. I was just thinking." "Well you were thinking for a pretty long time." He half smiled again. I smiled myself as he began to blush a bit. "Derek you should try to smile more. It suits you." I told him. "I'll remember that next time I try to calm you down." He joked. I liked this Derek more. Preferably over the broody Sourwolf that i've come to no longer see. I hope he stays this way. I might need him again. "Alright Stiles. It's time for a bath you reek." He said nostrils flaring in slight annoyance. "Alright alright, but only if you take one with me." I said. "What?" He said jaw dropping to the floor. "I'm just kidding Derek. Don't worry. I don't love you that much yet." I laughed while trying to stand up. Trying. And failing. As soon as I got up I began to fall. "Woah woah watch it!" Derek yelled while catching me. "Ow shit." I cursed. My back and legs were killing me. I couldn't even stand. "Are you okay Stiles?" He asked me worriedly. "I'm fine, but do you think you can carry me to the bathroom so I can take that shower?" I asked hesitantly. I looked over myself and I noticed my fingernails had dirt in them and my breath smelled rancid. I just couldn't believe how dirty I was. It was kind of a good thing I lived alone so Derek wouldn't have to explain my disappearance to anyone. Not like Scott would give a damn. My chest began to tighten again until I felt Derek pick me up and carry me bridal style out of the room. I felt peace at once. I felt bad that he had to carry me so I threw my arm over his shoulder to try to help him carry me although I wasn't too sure I was doing much to help. "Thank you Derek." I mumbled into his shoulder. He didn't reply really. He just gave a small grunt of approval and as we walked up some stairs. Just where exactly were we? I looked up as I noticed we entered the bathroom and I saw there was a sink, a broken yet useable mirror, and a bathtub and not much else. "Alright. Get undressed." Derek said quickly. "Wha- What?" I asked astonished. "I'm going to have to help you into the tub Stiles." He said. "Oh yeah." I said my skin turning a light pink. I started with my shirt and removed that, but it seemed like I was taking too long because he started to tap his foot. "When your done sit on the floor so I can carry you into the tub." He said staring at the ceiling. "Alright." I replied. I removed my jeans and my boxers and took off my socks and tossed the aside as I sat on the floor it was cold and it gave me goosebumps. "Okay Derek. Help me in." I told him. He turned around and quickly picked me up and put me inside. Eyes shut of course. The water felt amazing. Nice and warm. I sighed in contentment. "I'll just wait for you down stairs call me if you need me." He began to walk out but I called him back. "Derek wait!" He stopped on his heels and spun around in an instant. "Stay here and talk to me?" I asked. "I know it's kind of akward, but I really don't wanna be alone right now." "Alright. I'll stay." He smiled at me. I laughed. I don't know how long we stayed in there talking about trivial things like what our favorite colors were. Evidently he liked the color black which honestly wasn't a suprise. I preferred a deep blue myself. Cobalt. What? It's a good color don't judge me. I learned how Derek first moved here with his family, but he quickly changed the subject. I understood knowing just how hard it was to lose your family. What his pack was currently up to. Which honestly wasn't much although the Argents were having quite alot of activity going on, So the pups were training more, and Derek recruited a new one. He was a junior at Beacon Hills. Barely moved and Isaac and he quickly became friends, but it was odd because he only bit those he deemed mature enough, but I learned it was because he was dying, and Derek had sympathy. I was allowed to meet him once I was able enough. Derek said he was the most stable pup he'd ever seen in his life. I wondered what he was like. I also found out that from Derek that he himself is a born wolf and he has entitlement to more power than human turned wolves. Which piqued my curiosity even more. We stayed talking for a very long time. All the way up until the water got cold. "Derek the water's cold." My body shivered as if to prove my point. "Alright let me help you up." He grabbed a towel and let me wrap it around my body before picking me up and taking me to his room and laying out some of my clothes. "Where did you get my clothes from?" I asked. "Well we got your keys from McCall's house." I was grateful he didn't say his name. "And I more or less raided your closet of things I thought you might need once you woke up. If you ever did. I was really worried Stiles." He said. He was... Worried... "I know. I'm sorry." He just nodded. "Thank you by the way for the clothes. Oh, where's my jeep?" I asked worriedly. "Don't worry I drove it back to your apartment." He said assuringly. "Just try and relax Stiles regain some energy and tomorrow I'll take you home." "Okay Derek." I said. He grabbed a blanket and flapped it out over me and he walked out with a "Goodnight Stiles." "Night Derek." I layed down and I realized just how tired I really was. But I couldn't bring myself to sleep. I thought about why Derek's demeanor had changed so drastically. Why I couldn't stop thinking in general. I realized I hadn't taken any Adderall in at least a week. So I was practically expecting this. I yawned loudly and my eyelids were drooping so I laid myself back closed my eyes and thought of things that made me happy.

* * *

*I was running. Running as fast as I could. I looked back and I saw familiar pairs of eyes glaring at me. Then they began to scream. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US?" They kept chasing me. "I didn't do anything!" I screamed at them breathless. They kept running faster and faster. "This is YOUR fault!" I eventually crumpled to the ground. I couldn't breathe anymore. I was shaking all over and they just picked me up and threw me. They cut me on my thighs and my arms and dove for my neck but the adrenaline made me get up and run. They ran after me and they slashed my ankle and I fell. They circled me. Slowly closing in. "You betrayed us. This is your fault." No. It couldn't be. "I didn't KNOW." I screamed tears running down my cheeks. "I'M SORRY." I cried out in despair. "Your fault. Your fault. Your fault." They began to chant. "No no no no. NOOOO!" I screamed. "DEREK!" I heard him scream. "Stiles...?" I asked afraid. "Yes Derek it's me i'm here please stay awake come on open your eyes." "I can't." I whimpered to him. "Derek please!" He screamed again. They who surrounded me, and one by one whispered a goodbye. I felt the blackness enter me. I felt nothing. Until I felt it. Warmth. Just warmth. His warmth. Why was he doing this? "I couldn't live without you Alpha." He cried. "Stiles?" I opened my eyes and they were gone, and it was all white. I saw he was sitting there hugging me eyes bloodshot from crying and his face was covered in tears. "Stiles... tonight is the anniversarry." I looked away in shame as tears were welling up and spilling over onto my cheeks. He wiped them away and looked me in the eyes, and said. "Your family is here now Derek. There's no need to feel alone anymore." He said wiping away a few more tears. "I remember an old wolf I used to know a long time ago told me this. An Alpha looks after and protects his pack and cares for his pack. We are more than family. We are everything to each other. We would die for each other." He said quietly. I sobbed into his shirt. After sixteen years of supressing these feelings I just couldn't hold them back anymore. "Shhhh... I got you. I'm here now. Your pack is here." I cried out harshly and I let out another heartbroken howl of pain. The air echoed with hurt, pain, and loneliness. I just kept howling. I couldn't control it, but he stayed there. Holding me. Running his hands through my hair just like my mother would when I was younger. Another howl of despair ripped it's way out of my chest. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I KILLED MY FAMILY." He grabbed me tighter and kept stroking my hair. "I love you Derek. Don't hurt anymore." I just kept crying. Sobbing into the younger man's chest as he had into mine so many times before. It went on for a long time and he didn't talk. He was silent. He understood my pain and I was happy that I wasn't alone. I kept crying until finally it died down. He was there for me and I was grateful. I needed this. "Thank you Stiles." I looked at him, and he smiled down at me. He leaned in and for a second I thought he was going to hug me. But then he came closer and his lips met mine. My eyes widened in surprise at how right it felt to have him here with me, our lips meeting, and our bodies held close. It felt right. It made me feel something other than what this day usually made me feel. I pulled away from him, and he pulled me to his chest tighter than before. "I love you Stiles." I whispered, and for once my dreams of this night weren't polluted with the darkness of my family's death. I had someone now. Someone that needed me, and I was going to be there for him now.*

***Author's Note***

Okay so... I re-read this and it seems like the last hapter was confusing. Derek was having a dream guys. Just letting you know. Oh and, you guys have been following my story for about four chapters now. And I feel great about this. I would would always read other fics and they would focus more on the "Relations" Rather than the "Relationship" Itself. And that made me kind of upset. :/ See,... I view Derek as a strong Alpha with a past that haunts him, and his heart and mind are heavy with the guilt he feels about his family. Which is why he tries to care for the pack, but he doesn't really know how, and he's just so overcome with anger and frustration that he has no other outlet other than to grunt and give out a few threats and growl a couple of times. (Especially at Stiles.) He, for the majority of his childhood. Grew up with Laura, and never really had that sense of pack besides his sister. Therefore all the new Alpha powers, and responsibilities get to him sometimes. And sometimes, some fics don't show that emotion. I AM one for writing the Angst. I pull out all of the stops for my pieces. To me. They are just as real as my Laptop, and my writing pad is. I want to see REAL emotions come to life from the words I read. There has been one fic I have read that has made me cry. And it is "You Don't See Straight." Written by 'onecouldn'tsee' (You guys should check it out!) As for Stiles. I view Stiles as a Selfless... Well... For a lack of better words. Servant. He gives his everything to help the others and no one appreciates it. He's been alone for so long I saw these two's chemistry on screen and I fell in Love. Lydia rejected him for Jackson. Scott's got his head up Allison's ass, and who does that leave? Everyone's favorite Sourwolf. Derek Hale. I haven't written an authors note yet so i'm sorry if this one seems kinda long. And, i'm also sorry if it seems like I ranted up there. ^^^ Didn't mean it I swear! So guys. You've gotten a taste of what my mind is like. I hope you enjoy the rest of this fic. Love, and Skittles. -xWinter-Wolfx


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